I Heart Everything…
Have you been feeling hopeless, languid, and insignificant lately? Have your interests and pleasures in daily activities markedly diminished? Have you been experiencing persistent sad, anxious or “empty” feelings?
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, it may be time to ask your doctor about Numbitall®, the first FDA approved LIFE-inhibitor. Numbital decreases the neurotransmitters in your brain that are responsible for thought and emotion, while allowing you the freedom to remain conscious. Unlike other antidepressants, you are encouraged to consume alcohol while taking Numbitall.
“Numbitall, when you no longer want to give a shit about not giving a shit.” (From the makers of Repressitall®.)
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For the throng of you begging for more Bell, I apologize. I’m still gathering data for my SeaMonkey class action suit, and will keep you apprised as it develops.
In the interim, try reading the ingredients of your breakfast cereal.
February 19th, 2010 at 11:06 am
Is that the drug that I see advertised on TV during sporting events – where people who use it inexplicably end up laying in the middle of a meadow in cast iron bathtubs, unconnected to plumbing of any kind? That stuff must be like LSD.
Me – I’m thinking seriously about leaving work at noon. Maybe its time to ask my doctor about Fuccitol®.
February 19th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
Obama care will provide all the medications that you need…..
And even private sector employees will be able to not work past noon……
February 19th, 2010 at 12:19 pm
You know Steve, I considered Fuccitol, but it sounded too much like a swear word, and we all know how uncomfortable I am with those…
Peanut, were it not for Obama and all his minion, I might not need Numbitall quite so much…
February 25th, 2010 at 11:29 am
I’ve been wondering where you were.
And, FINALLY, a med I can drink with!
February 25th, 2010 at 8:00 pm
Oh, you can drink with them all… those warnings are for pussies…
Did I just write that? Wow. I have got to stop hanging out w/ the Boyz…